Irish Stout Roll Over French Foreign Legion in OFL Action

Kanata, ON — On a balmy fall day at legendary Entrust Cryptography Field, the powerful defending league champion Irish Stout defeated a spunky French Foreign Legion squad 26-0. The Stout fielded veterans Paul McRae, Bevan Watkiss, and Kirk Ireland. However, big tight end Dan Murdock was unavailable, having been involved in an incident with Adam “Pacman” Jones at a local dance bar. Rookie end James Muir was a scratch with an ankle injury, about which he would only say, “I can’t tell you how it happened, but I am pretty sure the activity is illegal in the state of Alabama.” Instead, the Stout fielded rookies Chris Walker and Marie Cote as well as a wily veteran from the OFL’s distant past, Paul Bertels. The Legion squad returned most of their usual roster, Peter Arseneau, Bogdan Nicolescu, Sasha Ruzhynsky, Rami Al-Tayeche, and John O’Connor. They were augmented with rookie wingback Jesusa Tran.

The Stout won the toss and deferred, as is their custom. The Legion failed to score and punted. After a couple of incompletions, McRae found Cote in the endzone for the game’s first score after she slipped behind the bedazzled Tran. Watkiss caught the conversion and the Stout led, 7-0. Once again, the Stout defence held firm as McRae and Cote alternated in providing constant pressure on Legion passers and snuffing out running plays.

McRae went to work again and lofted a pass into the waiting arms of Ireland to extend the lead to 13-0. Conversions proved tough all day, though McRae noted, “I can throw it, but I can’t catch it for ’em.” As always, McRae is noted for his “team first” attitude. He continued, “You can’t spell ‘TEAM’ without ‘ME’.”

On the sidelines, Stout Team President and General Manager McRae was continually fending off trade deals with hard bargaining Legion GM Larisa Christensen, who was heard uttering, “It is simple, you give us Ireland, the league’s leading scorer, and we will ship you this gently used pad of Post-It’s. Is fair, no?”

In the second half, Watkiss hauled in a short pass on a crossing pattern and lumbered into the endzone to make the score 19-0. The Stout’s clever play calling and quick hitting offense seemed to have the Legion in disarray, but they rose up to intercept the conversion attempt as John O’Connor picked off the McRae throw. “‘Twas just like back in Croke Park, gents!”, O’Connor remarked, “Now let’s kick their arses!”

It was not to be as the Legion was having trouble moving the ball into scoring range. Their woes continued as Ireland intercepted Arseneau and ran it back to bulge the lead to 25-0. Quickly lining up for the conversion, the Stout added the single point to their total as Cote scored on a sweep right to make the score 26-0. On their final possession, behind their scrambling QB, the Legion moved close to the Stout goal line. On fourth down, however, their hopes were dashed as Arseneau’s pass to Ruzhynsky was batted away at the last second by Walker on the goal line.

BOX SCORE
October 9, 2008
Irish Stout 26, French Foreign Legion 0

Passing
-------
McRae       3 TD, 1 PAT, 1 INT
Arseneau    1 INT
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Receiving
---------
Watkiss    1 TD, 1 PAT
Cote       1 TD
Ireland    1 TD

Rushing
---------
Cote       1 PAT

Defense
--------
O'Connor     1 INT
Ireland      1 INT (TD ret)