Irish Stout Hold Off Co-Op Dragons

Kanata, ON — The OFL began Week 2 of football action with the Co-Op Dragons taking on the mighty Irish Stout on a beautiful autumn afternoon at Entrust Cryptography Field. The Dragons returned all of their roster with the exception of Mark “Shoeless” Jessome while the Stout were without both Kirk Ireland, whose habit of studying the game plan by the light of a jukebox finally got the best of him and Johnny “Irish” O’Connor, who was last seen stumbling out of the Barley Mow with a Guinness in his hand. They were replaced by raw rookie Istehad “Lateral” Chowdhury, whose next football reception would be his first. Thus, Peter Arseneau, Jin Kang, Michael Liu, and William Jia lined up against Paul McRae, James Muir, Bevan Watkiss, and Chowdhury in a 4 on 4 matchup.

The Dragons won the toss and deferred, but an uncharacteristally inaccurate McRae failed to move the Stout. On the ensuing possession, a McRae sack of Peter “The Rabbit” Arseneau on fourth down gave the Stout good field position. McRae took advantage, lofting a TD to Muir and following up with conversion to the big mathematician. “Meeting, shmeeting,” said Muir, “This day is too fine to spend in a cramped office when I can be running free catching touchdowns.” The erudite Stout led 7-0.

Unimpressed by this drive, the Dragons, behind the accurate passing of the veteran Arseneau, closed the gap to 7-6 on a pass to Liu. The Dragons’ celebration was short lived, however, as Muir recorded his second TD from McRae to increase the Stout lead to 13-6. After stonewalling the Dragons, the Stout looked to extend their lead, but Jin intercepted an underthrown ball to Watkiss and raced all the way to the endzone to tighten the contest at 13-12. “Watching film, I noticed that number 11 sometimes attempts throws that are beyond his limited abilities,” said Jin, “MVP or not, I took that one to the house.”

Jin Kang nearly intercepted another McRae throw, but it was ruled incomplete. “Where is the replay?” he cried, “On TV, they always have the replay! I may not know the rules, but I know about replay!” His pleas, unfortunately, fell on deaf ears.

With time running out and only one possession each remaining in regulation, the Stout rose up and demonstrated the mettle that has made them 4 time OFL champions. McRae fired a TD to Watkiss to make the score 19-12 and that was the final score as Arseneau’s potential tying pass sailed over the head of an outstretched Liu. “We’ll get these [expletive deleted],” cursed Arseneau, “I beat them once before and I’ll beat them again,” he said, recalling the French Foreign Legion’s rout of the Stout in 2006. The Stout, however, moved to 2-0 as the Dragons fell to 0-2 on this young season.

Stout President and GM Paul McRae was less than effusive in his evaluation of the team’s QB. “He might be a multiple MVP, but you wouldn’t have known it today,” he said, “But they never play well without that little slotback, Ireland.” Fans of the Stout are hopeful that Ireland will return next week. “Get your popcorn ready,” Ireland said, “the Show is about to come back to town!”

BOX SCORE
October 8, 2010
Irish Stout 19, Co-Op Dragons 12

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McRae      3 TD, 1 INT
Arseneau   1 TD

Receiving
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Muir       2 TD, 1 PAT
Watkiss    1 TD
Liu        1 TD

Defense
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Kang 1 INT (TD ret)