IP Stack Dominates Offensive Slugfest
Paul McRae
Nov 07, 2002
It
was a wild and woolly game Tuesday night, truly an offensive smorgasbord
for the ages! IP Stack outscored their somewhat worthy opponent BGP 7-4
on the strength of a league record 7 touchdown passes from Paul McRae.
Stack was aided by four interceptions thrown by the BGP'ers, who subscribe
to the rotating-door policy of shuffling quarterbacks in and out. The Stack
turned the miscues into touchdowns on all but one occasion. Stack now holds
a 5-1 record on the season while BGP has dropped to the inverse record, 1-5.
Stack won the toss, but deferred possession to the ho-hum BGP offense
as the new 'equal possession' rule went into effect. After taking the opening
kickoff, BGP opened the game with a quick touchdown from their ace signal-caller
Mike Ciancibello to Greg Bertin on a deep ball down the middle. Stack stalled
as McRae missed on his first 4 attempts, but got on the board with a pass
to Tom Szczerbowski, who went low in the left corner of the endzone and made a sliding catch.
BGP scored again to go up 2-1, but then the roof caved in as Ciancibello threw 2 interceptions, Dave Smith
another, and Greg Bertin yet another. Stack took advantage of these miscues
to score touchdowns by Kirk Ireland (3 in total), Don MacDonald (2), and
Szczerbowski (2). Szczerbowksi also set a league record with three interceptions
to snuff out BGP drives. Paul Bertels also contributed with an interception
that he ran back for a touchdown, only to be called back on an 'illegal'
block by the emotionally razzed and fire-breathing McRae when he Bo Jacksoned
Ciancibello to the ground in a rare display of pugnacity.
The Stack defense was tough all night with McRae recording the season's first sack on Dave Smith
and the secondary knocking down several passes. On offense, the Stack had
nine possessions, punted only twice, and committed no turnovers.
"Over-hyped, eh?", retorted Stack QB McRae after his record-setting
performance in rebuttal to comments by the press earlier in the week, "I
think we showed everyone what a balanced air attack can do. They better
get a 2Ghz Pentium to run that scoreboard if they want to keep up next week."
BGP was without the services of slotback Pablo Frank.
Frank was a game-time scratch due to flu-like symptoms, perhaps due to his
well-publicized partying and carousing lifestyle. In his absence, the game
was remarkably free of any controversy. His team clearly missed his prodigious
pass-catching skills, tenacious defense, and all-pro trash talking capabilities.
Mike Ciancibello turned in a bland all-around performance, throwing and
catching touchdown passes, scrambling, and playing tough defense. Rookie
Greg Bertin continued to impress as he scored 3 TDs.
From his sickbed, team owner Pablo Frank
told reporters, "We've had enough of losing, I will personally make sure
that we acquire Derek Manning no matter what the cost!". Manning, the ONTFL
MVP is currently playing hardball with BGP management, holding out after
appearing in just one game, not coincidentally BGP's only win of the season.
"Frank can stick it in his ear", Manning has been quoted, "I'm the best player
and I deserve the best salary."
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