Kanata, ON — On a beautiful day for football at historic Entrust Cryptography Field, the powerful Irish Stout took on the Underdogs under a cloud of carnivorous insects bent on trying to disrupt the scintillating OFL action. Both teams were shorthanded as the Stout fielded Paul “Pad My Stats” McRae, Kirk “Porsche Spice” Ireland, James “You want me to cover who?” Muir, and rookie Kaushik “Don’t Eat The Chicken” Thirukonda. The Underdogs made a stunning pre-game trade for Bevan “Hands of Stone” Watkiss, while lining up with Brad “The Big Gun” O’Brien, Chris “Steve Largent” Yagi, and their first round draft choice, Dan “One Direction” Krywenky.

On paper, the contest should have been close, but on the field, the Underdogs could not overcome their own mistakes and had trouble with a nearly flawless Stout offence that scored on every possession. Things got off quickly as the Underdogs failed to score and the Stout took over. McRae lofted a TD throw to Ireland and followed up with a nice toss to Thirukonda for the PAT. “Despite my intestinal distress, I still feel I can contribute,” said the lithe receiver in the locker room after the game, “But if you will excuse me, I need to puke my guts out right now.” Thirukonda converted another TD, this one on a reception by Muir, on the Stout’s next drive. “This is almost as good as taking a wicket!” exclaimed Thirukonda.

Trying to come back from being down 14-0, the Underdogs attempted a short pass in the flat, but it was intercepted by Muir after being tipped by Watkiss and Muir raced down the sidelines for a score. A rankled Watkiss made a great play on the PAT throw by Ireland on a trick play and nearly ran it back for safety, but the score remained 20-0.

The young rookie Thirukonda got into the offense in a big way for the remainder of the game, scoring 3 touchdowns while also intercepting O’Brien in the back of the endzone to stunt an Underdog drive. Ireland also scored and converted a PAT on a reception. The score stood at 46-0 when, on the last drive of the game, the Underdogs went the length of the field on a long O’Brien reception from Watkiss and a Watkiss run to the pylon for a touchdown.

“How can you let those b*st*rds score at will?” thundered Underdog Head Coach O’Brien in the locker room, “You let that McRae complete passes all over the place! He’s not that good! I got us Bevan! What more do you want? Play like men, dammit!” O’Brien was only mollified when the team doctor gave him a shot while he was being distracted by highlights from the game. “See??!? He can’t throw a hard pass! We can stop….zzzzzzzz” O’Brien and the rest of the Underdogs should be well rested for the next game.

September 27, 2013
Irish Stout 46, Underdogs 6

McRae      6 TD, 4 PAT
O'Brien    2 INT 
Ireland    1 INT

Ireland    2 TD, 1 PAT
Muir       2 TD      
Thirukonda 3 TD, 3 PAT 

Watkiss    1 TD

Muir       1 INT (TD ret)
Thirukonda 1 INT 
Watkiss    1 INT