McRae Passes To Ireland For A Touchdown

Kanata, ON — While the OFL’s newest team, Peter’s Pirates, are improving, they were no match for the firepower of the Irish Stout on this drizzly fall afternoon at historic Entrust Cryptography Field. The Stout lineup was without Ron Burman, who was enjoying a glass of Zinfindel rather than braving the elements with his teammates and Gary Hoffe, who was saving himself for his figure skating competition later in the day. However, the team was bolstered by the return of big Bevan “Hominid” Watkiss, whose forest adventures had been captured on grainy film by several startled backpackers. Watkiss joined Paul “The Mad Bomber” McRae, James “Smooth” Muir, and Kirk “Flash” Ireland. The Pirates, meanwhile, lined up Peter “The Rabbit” Arseneau, Carlos “The Jackal” Nahas, Tong “Tip Drill” Jia, Andrew “So Long” Sung, and Liang “Go Long” Yao. Alfred “The Wanderer” Gideon had apparently taken his nickname too seriously and could not be found in time for kickoff.

The Stout struck quickly on their first possession, with McRae needing only two passes to notch a 6-0 lead with a touchdown to Ireland. A conversion to Watkiss made the score 7-0, but this was but a foreshadowing of the offensive deluge to follow. Six touchdown passes from McRae, two to each of his receivers tallied the majority of the points. With their flair for the razzle-dazzle play, McRae completed a pass to Muir, who lateraled to Ireland, who then proceeded to trot in for the score. “We still need to work on our conversion plays,” groused Stout Head Coach McRae, “We left some points out there.”

The Pirates were able to respond with TD throws from Arseneau to Yao and Jia, but it was not enough to overcome the prolific Stout offense. “We need to blitz the quarterback,” observed Nahas, “He has too much time back there — he won’t be so effective throwing on his back!”

In the end, the Pirates left the field defeated by a 45-12 score, but they vowed to be back. “We will beat these guys,” said a determined Arseneau in the locker room, “Even if we have to poison their Gatorade, we are going to get them this year!”

September 29, 2011
Irish Stout 45, Peter's Pirates 12

McRae      6 TD, 2 PAT, 
Arseneau   2 TD, 1 INT
Watkiss    1 PAT

Muir       2 TD, 2 PAT
Watkiss    2 TD, 1 PAT
Ireland    2 TD
Jia        1 TD
Yao        1 TD

Ireland    1 TD

Watkiss    1 INT