Kanata, ON — As the sun broke through the thick mist at historic Entrust Cryptography Field, a gridiron classic played out between the defending OFL Champion Irish Stout and the upstart French Foreign Legion football clubs. The Legion came prepared to play with a dazzling array of talent including Carlos “The Jackal” Nahas, Louis “Plus Vite” Aubin, Ron “Randy Moss” Burman, Peter “The Rabbit” Arseneau, John “Are You Sarah?” O’Connor, Bogdan “Just Throw Me The Damn Ball” Nicolescu, and Rami “Don’t Throw Me The Ball” Al-Tayeche. The Stout lined up with Paul “The Mad Bomber” McRae, Dan “Danimal” Murdock, Chris “The Ghost” Walker, James “Smooth” Muir, Bevan “Throw It At My Head” Watkiss, and Kirk “Noon Means 12:15PM” Ireland.

The Stout won the toss and deferred and the Legion wasted no time to score on a long pass from Nahas to Burman. The PAT failed and the Legion led 6-0. The Stout tied the game at 6-6 with a Walker score from McRae, but the PAT attempt was intercepted by Nahas. After a Watkiss interception of a Nahas throw, the Stout drove down to the goal line and crossed up Legion defenders with a pass by Muir off a reverse to a wide open McRae, who spiked the ball in classic Lynn Swann style. “They didn’t see that one coming,” commented McRae. “I don’t know how we didn’t catch him, you can time him with a calendar,” retorted Aubin. The Stout now led 12-6.

After another McRae interception (!) by O’Connor, the Stout defense stiffened and McRae moved the Stout into the lead with a touchdown to Ireland on a beautiful teardrop into the right corner. What turned out to be the key play in the game came next as McRae fired a successful conversion pass to big tight end Dan Murdock. The Stout now led 19-6. “It’s like my honeymoon never ended,” said the newly wed Murdock, “I can hardly wait to tell my beautiful bride about this!”

Perhaps it was the big lead, perhaps it was the ever more creative distractions of Legion GM Larisa Christensen, perhaps it was the sudden realization that there would be no more Michael Crichton novels, but the Stout defense uncharacteristically went on to allow two Legion touchdowns, one on a pass from Arseneau to Nahas and one on a pass from Nahas to Burman to make the score 19-18. The Legion lined up for what could be the play to tie the game and take it into overtime for the second time this season. The Stout deployed their famous “46” defense, thus named for the number of beverages consumed post-game. The scene was set, the ball was snapped…Nahas dropped back, looked right and threw the ball. It fluttered through the cool autumn air, but it did not find the outstretched arms of Burman and the Legion went down to defeat, putting their slim playoff hopes in jeopardy.

At the post-game press conference, Christensen screamed at the assembled reporters, “Playoffs?!?!? Playoffs?!?!? Don’t talk to me about playoffs! I just hope we can win a game!”

November 6, 2008
Irish Stout 19, French Foreign Legion 18

McRae       2 TD, 1 PAT, 2 INT
Arseneau    1 TD
Muir        1 TD
Nahas       2 TD, 1 INT


Burman      2 TD
Murdock     1 TD, 1 PAT
Ireland     1 TD
McRae       1 TD
Nahas       1 TD

O'Connor    1 INT
Nahas       1 INT
Watkiss     1 INT