McRae Passes To Muir in OFL Action

Kanata, ON — It was a glorious day for football at legendary Entrust Crytography Field and a packed house watched a nearly flawless performance by the Irish Stout as they faced off against their nemesis, Peter’s Pirates, in exciting OFL action.

The Stout began the game with a short roster comprised of league leading passer Paul McRae, debonair Gary Hoffe, blindingly fast Kirk Ireland and the simply blind Ron Burman. The Pirates lined up with crafty Peter Arseneau under center, athletic Tong Jia, versatile Liang Yao, and the quiet, but intense, Andrew Sung.

The Stout started with the ball, but were unable to complete a pass and punted. Likewise, the Pirates failed to score and punted back to the Stout. At this point, the Stout squad was bolstered by the arrival of their set of big tight ends, Bevan Watkiss and James Muir. A mid-game deal sent Hoffe shuffling off to join the Pirates, who also welcomed offensive coordinator and all-around gadfly Carlos Nahas into the their huddle.

With their roster now complete, the Stout proceeded to score on a McRae to Ireland connection. With the PAT by Burman, the Stout led, 7-0. This was the start of 5 consecutive Stout possessions that ended in a score with the accompanying conversion, an offensive onslaught that few teams, let alone the expansion Pirates, could withstand. “It was like the ’99 Rams,” gasped Nahas, “McRae is just like a shorter, squatter version of Kurt Warner out there!”

Arseneau completed a bomb to Jia to make the score 14-6, but the Pirates were unable to dent the scoreboard further despite driving to the one yard line on a spectacular catch and run by Nahas. Nahas’s ensuing end-around was stuffed at the goal line by Muir. “I totally got the try,” screamed Nahas, who apparently forgot that this was touch football and not rugby. Yao barely missed a pass for a touchdown and a pair of Pirate drives ended with endzone interceptions by Burman and Ireland. The contest ended with the 3-0 Stout ahead 35-6.

“We made too many wrong mistakes,” said Arseneau to a confused press corps.

October 5, 2011
Irish Stout 35, Peter's Pirates 6

McRae      5 TD, 5 PAT, 
Arseneau   1 TD, 2 INT

Burman   2 TD, 1 PAT
Muir       2 TD
Ireland    1 TD, 1 PAT
Jia        1 TD
Watkiss    3 PAT

Ireland    1 INT
Watkiss    1 INT