December 2009

Pictured clockwise, Eric “Les Mains” Nadeau, Louis “Plus Vite” Aubin,
John “Are You Sarah” O’Connor, Josh “Tank” Lucas, Gerry “Rice” Chartrand,
Peter “The Rabbit” Arseneau, James “Smooth” Muir, Bevan “Hominid” Watkiss, Larisa “Jerry Jones” Christensen, Paul “The Mad Bomber” McRae, Kirk “Flash” Ireland.

Kanata, ON — The OFL wrapped up the 2009 season with a gala luncheon held at the Local Heroes attended by most of the active OFL players. The league crowned the undefeated 10-0 Irish Stout as champions for the fourth straight year with the French Foreign Legion finishing second. In addition, individual accomplishments were acknowledged as the league’s awards were issued by assistant commissioner Larisa Christensen.

Foreigner of the Year

John O’Connor brought home the Foreigner of the Year award for the second straight time. “Playing a few games with the Stout didn’t hurt,” he noted.

Rookie of the Year

It was no contest for Rookie of the Year as Gerry Chartrand won in a unanimous vote. The dynamic receiver even cracked a wide smile as he was handed his award saying, “Hey, is this beer really free?”

Defensive Player of the Year

The Defensive Player of the Year award went to Louis Aubin, who proudly showed it to the waitress. “I ran back an interception for a safety!” he exclaimed. “That’s very nice,” she replied, “Here are your wings.”

Offensive Player of the Year

The normally stoic James Muir accepted the Offensive Player of the Year award with a big thumbs up. The league’s leading scorer composed himself however, saying “Oooh, I’m feeling tipsy after this glass of ale. I wouldn’t want to lose my inhibitions!”

Most Valuable Player

For the fourth consecutive year, the league’s leading passer, Paul McRae, was the recipient of the MVP award, this time by a narrow margin. The ever-humble McRae gave all the credit to his teammates. “They executed the plays I designed and caught the passes I threw, for the most part,” he said, “Hey, even Brett Favre never threw 42 TD’s after turning 40!” The entire room was moved.

The OFL looks forward to the 2010 season as the Irish Stout go for their fifth consecutive league title.

Rookie of the Year, Gerry Chartrand

Defensive Player of the Year, Louis Aubin

Offensive Player of the Year, James Muir

Most Valuable Player, Paul McRae

It is rare that the Player of the Week comes from the losing team, but the performance the Denver Broncos’ Brandon Marshall put on against the Indianapolis Colts cannot be ignored. He caught an NFL record 21 passes for 200 yards and 2 touchdowns. Despite the fact that the Colts knew it was coming (Kyle Orton only had 29 completions total), they could not stop Marshall. Unfortunately, the Broncos couldn’t stop the Colts either and lost, 28-16.

A great turnaround for Marshall, who was a hot topic in training camp for his bad behavior and apparent desire to be traded. Instead, he now owns the NFL record for receptions in a single game, breaking Terrell Owens’ mark set in 2000 against the Chicago Bears.

Drew Brees put on quite a show on Monday night with his explosive performance against the highly touted New England Patriots. In what would be one of the tougher tests for the undefeated New Orleans Saints, Brees threw for five touchdowns as the Saints routed the Pats 38-17. Apparently Belichick was unable to steal either the offensive or defensive signals as Brees completed 18 of 23 for a whopping 371 yards while Tom Brady was pulled from the game with 5 minutes to go.

The Saints now join the Colts at 11-0 as the NFL’s only remaining undefeated teams. The 1972 Miami Dolphins will continue to chill their champagne for at least another week.

Click on the image for a larger version. Pencil on Strathmore sketch paper.

Kanata, ON — An unseasonably warm day turned positively hot for the Irish Stout as they exploded for 6 touchdowns in their 40-19 victory over the French Foreign Legion. Things started out poorly for the Legion when star receiver Ron “Randy Moss” Burman was unable to play due to what is being reported as a bizarre grooming accident. He has been holed up in his gated community since the weekend, issuing only a terse press release that ended with “Don’t look at me! I’m hideous!” Offensive coordinator and tight end Carlos “The Jackal” Nahas was also unavailable, but Interpol would not divulge any details as to why he has been detained in Paris. Legion regulars Peter “The Rabbit” Arseneau, Gerry “Rice” Chartrand, John “Guinness” O’Connor, and Eric “Les Mains” Nadeau took the field to face a powerful Stout lineup consisting of Paul “The Mad Bomber” McRae, Bevan “No Wobbly Balls, Please” Watkiss, James “I’ll Take That Ball, If You Don’t Mind” Muir, and Louis “All World Picker” Aubin. Noticeably absent from the Stout was superstar Kirk “Twinkletoes” Ireland, who continued to recover from his ballroom dancing accident. “No one puts Kirk in the corner,” he intoned sternly, “But I had the time of my life!”

After taking the opening kickoff, the Legion drove down the field but failed to score. Rookie Eric Nadeau then proceeded to intercept McRae’s long, but not long enough, throw to Watkiss and ran it back into scoring territory. “I’m in the stats!” Nadeau cried with glee. The Stout held, however, and McRae marched them down the field to paydirt with a TD to Watkiss. The Legion responded with a TD of their own from Arseneau to Chartrand and went ahead on an Arseneau to O’Connor conversion. “Burman? Burman? Who needs Burman?” yelled Arseneau in a rare display of bravado. “Actually, we could really use him,” replied Chartrand, “It’s not like I can score all the touchdowns by myself!”

Trailing 7-6, the Stout struck quickly with two McRae to Muir TD’s sandwiched around an Aubin conversion to make the score 19-7. Arseneau again connected with Chartrand to draw within 6, but the Stout unleashed a flurry of touchdowns to put the Legion away. First, McRae hit Watkiss for 6, and followed up with a PAT to Aubin. Aubin intercepted Arseneau on the next possession and the Stout went to work with Muir literally taking the ball away from the defender and running in for a score. After the Watkiss conversion, the score stood at 33-19. “When the ball is in the air, it’s mine,” said Muir, “Well, technically, the ball belongs to Paul, but you get the idea.”

The Legion responded with yet another Chartrand TD from Arseneau, but Muir again aggressively went after the ball and evaded a defender to score his fourth touchdown of the day. “Four touchdowns, let’s see…” Muir observed, “That’s 12 plus 6 plus 6, carry the 1….24 points!” A short yellow bus full of young fans cheered Muir’s arithmetic prowess.

An Aubin PAT made the final score 40-19. The Stout scored the second highest number of points in the league’s recent history, second, ironically, to the Legion, which owns the record, set in their 41-12 victory over the Stout in 2006. However, it has been 28 straight wins since for the powerful Stout, who are now gunning for their 4th straight OFL title with a 10-0 record. “Tabernac, I want a title,” exclaimed Aubin, who due to the OFL’s lax roster rules has played on both sides of this bitter rivalry this season, “I am going to celebrate with a big moose tourtiere, calice!”

The 2009 OFL Season statistics can be seen here.

December 2, 2009
Irish Stout 40, French Foreign Legion 19

McRae       6 TD, 4 PAT, 1 INT
Arseneau    3 TD, 1 INT

Muir        4 TD
Chartrand   3 TD
Watkiss     2 TD, 1 PAT
Aubin       3 PAT
O'Connor    1 PAT

Aubin       1 INT
Nadeau      1 INT