KANATA, ON — The Obfuscated Football League debuted today with a much anticipated
matchup between the Irish Stout Football Club, led by Optera Football League veteran
Paul McRae and the French Foreign Legion, a ragtag collection of young, promising
talent. The Legion’s potential was no match for the veteran Stout squad, who left
Entrust Field with a resounding 39-13 victory. Dominant on both sides of the ball,
the Stout did not punt and did not allow a score until the outcome was no longer in
doubt. In fact, the Stout’s performance was only marred by 3 missed conversion
attempts and a spilled Guinness at the post-game celebration.

Former Optera Football League star Kirk Ireland hauled in 4 touchdowns and
intercepted Legion QB Louis Aubin, while newcomer Dan Murdock scored on 2 receptions
and also recorded an interception. McRae calmly tossed 6 touchdown passes as the
Stout offense bewildered the Legion defense with a variety of sets and quick hitting
plays.

The Legion had trouble moving the ball and dropped several passes. After the game,
Legion QB Louis Aubin was quoted as saying, “Tabernosh, chalice!”. Slotback Yves
Charron left the locker room without talking to the press. Rookie receiver Mo Elabd
could not be reached for comment, as it was lunchtime.

Box Score
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Irish Stout 39, French Foreign Legion 13
August 29, 2006

Receiving
=========
Stout
-----
Ireland 4 TD's, 2 PAT
Murdock 2 TD's, 1 PAT

Legion
------
Aubin 1 TD
Elabd 1 TD
Charron 1 PAT

Passing
=======
Stout
-----
McRae 6 TD passes

Legion
------
Aubin 1 TD pass, 2 INT
Charron 1 TD pass

Defense
=======
Stout
-----
Murdock 1 INT
Ireland 1 INT