OFL 2013

Kanata, ON — The OFL season eventually staged its third game as the powerful Irish Stout hosted the Underdogs at legendary Entrust Cryptography Field. Both teams were a little shorthanded as the Stout lined up All-OFL QB Paul “The Mad Bomber” McRae, tight end James “Smooth” Muir, slotback Kirk “Flash” Ireland, and wide receiver Louis “Le Genou” Aubin. The Underdogs countered with Brad “Big Play” O’Brien, Chris “Stickum” Yagi, Bevan “Blues Brothers” Watkiss, and newly signed rookie free agent, Brian “The Big Pole” Niebrzydowski. The cool, overcast day did not portend the fireworks to come.

Starting with the ball, the Underdogs went right to work, with O’Brien hitting Watkiss with a long pass for a TD over a startled Ireland. “I thought he would drop it, it wasn’t aimed at his head,” said a confused Ireland, “Normally, he only grabs those kinds of passes when it means self-preservation.” Nevertheless, for the first time this season, the Stout trailed, 6-0.

Unfazed, McRae led the Stout back with TD toss to Aubin, followed by a PAT conversion to Ireland to take the lead 7-6. The Underdogs were not intimidated, coming right back at the Stout with another TD to Watkiss from O’Brien. Again, the Stout trailed, 12-7 and again, the Stout responded, this time with a TD from McRae to Aubin using their hurry-up “Tiger” package. Another PAT to Ireland made the score 14-12, Stout. “I thought maybe we were in for a long day, so I dialed up the ‘Blur’ to catch ’em off guard,” analyzed McRae after the game, “We haven’t unleashed the ‘Tiger’ in quite a while.” “I’ll unleash a forearm shiver if he ever does that again,” threatened O’Brien, “Maybe HE won’t be ready for THAT, either.”

Perhaps the Stout thought this might break the spirit of the Underdogs, but the Dawgs once again showed their fortitude as O’Brien drove them down the field, the payoff this time coming with a pass to Niebrzydowski. The Stout now trailed for the third time in the game, 18-14. “What the hell is going on out there?” screamed Coach McRae, “Just grabbing, no tackling!!! Grab, grab, grab!” Reminded that it was a game of touch football, McRae calmed down and returned to the sideline, then to the huddle as he remembered he is also his team’s QB.

The Stout scored on an Aubin TD with a Muir PAT to take a 21-18 lead and then, like breaking an opponent’s serve in tennis, the game’s complexion changed on a terrific defensive play by Ireland, who intercepted O’Brien, giving the ball back to the Stout. An avalanche of points ensued as the Stout outscored the Underdogs 27-0 the rest of the way, including a nifty reverse flea-flicker PAT from Aubin to McRae on the game’s last play.

“I think the important thing to take away from this game is that I intercepted McRae for the first time this season,” said O’Brien in the strangely jubilant Underdog locker room, “We’ve come a long way this season and we are going to get those arrogant bastards if it’s the last thing I do. I don’t care how many 6’5″ behemoths I have to recruit, I will prevail!”

October 25, 2013
Irish Stout 48, Underdogs 18

McRae         7 TD, 5 PAT, 1 INT
O'Brien       3 TD, 1 INT 
Aubin         1 PAT
Watkiss       1 INT

Ireland       3 TD, 2 PAT
Aubin         3 TD
Watkiss       2 TD
Muir          1 TD, 3 PAT
Niebrzydowski 1 TD
McRae         1 PAT

Aubin         1 INT
Ireland       1 INT 
O'Brien       1 INT

Kanata, ON — On a beautiful day for football at historic Entrust Cryptography Field, the powerful Irish Stout took on the Underdogs under a cloud of carnivorous insects bent on trying to disrupt the scintillating OFL action. Both teams were shorthanded as the Stout fielded Paul “Pad My Stats” McRae, Kirk “Porsche Spice” Ireland, James “You want me to cover who?” Muir, and rookie Kaushik “Don’t Eat The Chicken” Thirukonda. The Underdogs made a stunning pre-game trade for Bevan “Hands of Stone” Watkiss, while lining up with Brad “The Big Gun” O’Brien, Chris “Steve Largent” Yagi, and their first round draft choice, Dan “One Direction” Krywenky.

On paper, the contest should have been close, but on the field, the Underdogs could not overcome their own mistakes and had trouble with a nearly flawless Stout offence that scored on every possession. Things got off quickly as the Underdogs failed to score and the Stout took over. McRae lofted a TD throw to Ireland and followed up with a nice toss to Thirukonda for the PAT. “Despite my intestinal distress, I still feel I can contribute,” said the lithe receiver in the locker room after the game, “But if you will excuse me, I need to puke my guts out right now.” Thirukonda converted another TD, this one on a reception by Muir, on the Stout’s next drive. “This is almost as good as taking a wicket!” exclaimed Thirukonda.

Trying to come back from being down 14-0, the Underdogs attempted a short pass in the flat, but it was intercepted by Muir after being tipped by Watkiss and Muir raced down the sidelines for a score. A rankled Watkiss made a great play on the PAT throw by Ireland on a trick play and nearly ran it back for safety, but the score remained 20-0.

The young rookie Thirukonda got into the offense in a big way for the remainder of the game, scoring 3 touchdowns while also intercepting O’Brien in the back of the endzone to stunt an Underdog drive. Ireland also scored and converted a PAT on a reception. The score stood at 46-0 when, on the last drive of the game, the Underdogs went the length of the field on a long O’Brien reception from Watkiss and a Watkiss run to the pylon for a touchdown.

“How can you let those b*st*rds score at will?” thundered Underdog Head Coach O’Brien in the locker room, “You let that McRae complete passes all over the place! He’s not that good! I got us Bevan! What more do you want? Play like men, dammit!” O’Brien was only mollified when the team doctor gave him a shot while he was being distracted by highlights from the game. “See??!? He can’t throw a hard pass! We can stop….zzzzzzzz” O’Brien and the rest of the Underdogs should be well rested for the next game.

September 27, 2013
Irish Stout 46, Underdogs 6

McRae      6 TD, 4 PAT
O'Brien    2 INT 
Ireland    1 INT

Ireland    2 TD, 1 PAT
Muir       2 TD      
Thirukonda 3 TD, 3 PAT 

Watkiss    1 TD

Muir       1 INT (TD ret)
Thirukonda 1 INT 
Watkiss    1 INT

Kanata, ON — The OFL, after a year hiatus, kicked off the 2013 season with a titanic showdown between the defending champion Irish Stout against the expansion Underdogs. The Stout returned perennial All Stars Paul “The Mad Bomber” McRae, Kirk “Flash” Ireland, Bevan “Hominid” Watkiss, and James “Smooth” Muir. They were joined by veteran Louis “Tabernacle” Aubin and rookie Kaushik “Cricket” Thirukonda. The Dawgs featured Brad “Big Play” O’Brien, Neil “Wash” Tubb, Chris “Hands” Yagi, Kris “The Streak” Cieplak, and Sabtain “Wrath of” Khan.

As the teams lined up on legendary Entrust Cryptography Field, the Dawgs won the toss and took the ball, but ran into trouble as Muir picked off O’Brien. The Stout went to work as McRae found Watkiss for a TD and a quick 6-0 lead. Ireland, former defensive player of the year, intercepted Khan on the next series and an accurate McRae laser to Aubin followed by a PAT catch from the rookie Thirukonda made the score 13-0. “Hey, this ball is bigger than the one in cricket!”, exclaimed Thirukonda, “I play lots of cricket, you know.”

Striking back with a long drive, the Dawgs scored on a Yagi reception from O’Brien, but the Stout retaliated with a flurry of points on Ireland and Aubin touchdowns and a Watkiss conversion for a 26-6 lead. The speedy Cieplak put a little excitement back into the contest, scoring 2 TD’s and and a PAT, sandwiched around another Ireland Stout score on a long bomb from McRae.

As the 39-19 contest wound down, a desperation pass from O’Brien was returned for a TD by Muir to make the final 45-19. The ensuing PAT throw off the flea-flicker by Muir was batted away at the last instant from McRae by Tubb, giving the defeated Dawgs something to hang their hat on.

“This is bullsh*t!” exclaimed Dawg GM O’Brien, “We need to make some serious personnel changes around here!” The Dawgs are entertaining any and all trade options and scouring the waiver wire while continuing to refine their playbook. “I want everyone to watch the Philadelphia Eagles Monday night and take notes,” said O’Brien, “We are installing the Blur Offense for next week and everyone needs to be on the same page!” For the most part, blank stares greeted this proclamation, but O’Brien was defiant, “And we will have cool black uniforms like Oregon, too!”

September 6, 2013
Irish Stout 45, Underdogs 19

McRae      6 TD, 3 PAT
O'Brien    3 TD, 1 PAT, 2 INT
Khan       1 INT 

Ireland    3 TD, 2 PAT
Cieplak    2 TD, 1 PAT
Aubin      2 TD
Watkiss    1 TD, 2 PAT
Yagi       1 TD
Thirukonda 1 PAT 

Muir       2 INT (1 TD ret)
Ireland    1 INT