OFL 2008


Kanata, ON — The Irish Stout football team showed its tremendous heart today by besting a spunky French Foreign Legion squad 25-19 in a dramatic overtime thriller played at legendary Entrust Cryptography Field.

The Stout lined up Paul McRae at QB, James Muir and Bevan Watkiss at tight end, Chris Walker at wide receiver, Kirk Ireland at flanker with versatile Marie Cote playing both wingback and nose tackle. The Legion consisted of Peter Arseneau at QB, Louis Aubin, John O’Connor, and Bogdan Nicolescu at wide receiver and newcomer Carlos “The Jackal” Nahas at tight end.

After winning the toss, the Legion promptly took the ball down the field, scoring on an Aubin reception to take a 6-0 lead. Several scoreless possessions for both teams ensued until Walker responded for the Stout, hauling in a McRae pass to tie the contest at 6-6. Nahas wrapped the ball around the pylon on a disputed score to put the Legion back up 12-6 and Aubin caught a sliding conversion pass from Arseneau to push the lead to 13-6. “Doze bastards, we have dem now!”, exclaimed Aubin, “Dey can eat my merde!”

McRae, uncharacteristically inaccurate all day (including an interception by Nahas), managed to tie the score throwing to Ireland for the TD and Walker for the PAT. This lead was short lived as O’Connor ran back another McRae interception for a touchdown on the Stout’s next possession. Taking over at midfield trailing late in the game for the first time all year, McRae hit Walker for a touchdown to tie the game at 19-19 to send this titanic match into overtime. “Overtime?!?! Overtime?!?!?,” McRae was heard uttering, “We let these bozos take us into overtime?!?!”

On the first possession of overtime, Arseneau failed to connect with Aubin then missed Nahas on a corner route. Running their quick hitting no huddle attack, the Stout quickly lined up and McRae threw a perfect strike to Muir on the post pattern to end the game. After the game, the laconic Muir commented, “No problem.” Reporters struggled to keep up, as this is the most he has sounded off all year.

At the post-game press conference, Legion GM Christensen explained, “We’re very pleased with the cohesion and drive the team displayed in this tight contest. The goal is to make our team mature enough to handle the wins and the losses the same, with grace, skill, and focus on sportsmanship.  I think the really good teams in our sport, the teams that continually succeed, are examples of that.” When informed that, in fact, her team lost, she replied, “We lost?!? But I thought we had more goals than the other side! We will have to increase the intensity of our rehearsals!” 

BOX SCORE
October 23, 2008
Irish Stout 25, French Foreign Legion 19

Passing
-------
McRae       4 TD, 1 PAT, 2 INT
Arseneau    2 TD. 1 PAT, 1 INT

Receiving
---------

Walker      2 TD, 1 PAT
Aubin       1 TD, 1 PAT
Ireland     1 TD
Muir        1 TD
Nahas       1 TD


Defense
--------
O'Connor    1 INT (TD ret)
Nahas       1 INT
Walker      1 INT
McRae Drops Back To Pass — click on image for video.

Kanata, ON — Week 3 of the 2008 OFL season saw the Irish Stout defeat the French Foreign Legion 26-6 on a breezy day at historic Entrust Cryptography Field before a record standing-room only crowd.

The Stout lined up Paul “The Mad Bomber” McRae, Bevan “Hands” Watkiss, Kirk “The Flash” Ireland, Marie “Mad Dog” Cote, as well as returning veterans Dan “Danimal” Murdock and James “Smooth” Muir. During the week, wily GM Larisa “Jerry Jones” Christensen had retooled the Legion outfit, signing free agent wide receiver Ron “Randy Moss” Burman and springing Louis “Plus Vite” Aubin from his court-ordered exile. In addition, the Legion roster was stacked with Rami “Track Suit” Al-Tayeche, Peter “The Rabbit” Arseneau, Bogdan “Terrell Owens” Nicolescu, John “Pacman” O’Connor, and Vahid “The Animal” Aftahi. Missing from the lineup was diminutive wingback Jesusa Tran due to an unfortunate and possibly season ending practice injury to her wittle pinkie. Curiously, she was not replaced with another female player on the Legion roster as per league rules. Clearly, this team was ready to compete. “Tabernacle, we are going to get dem dis time!”, exclaimed Aubin, “I am sick of dis [expletive]!” His teammate, Nicolescu agreed, “[Expletive] [expletive], those [expletive] [expletive]!”

After a virtual coin toss, the Stout started on offense. After hitting Murdock on a short pattern to midfield, McRae threw a strike to Watkiss in the endzone for a quick 6-0 lead. The Stout followed this up with a pass to Muir for the conversion. The Legion then failed to score and McRae threw a long pass to Ireland against a bewildered Legion defense. On the next play, McRae again hit Watkiss for a TD. The conversion failed and the Stout led 13-0.

Finally mustering their considerable talent, Arseneau and the Legion drove the length of the field on a Nicolescu reception and scored on a spectacular catch by Burman. The conversion pass was batted down by Murdock, but the Legion trimmed the lead to 13-6.

The next Stout possession came down to a 4th down try from midfield and a McRae pass which was inexplicably intercepted by Aubin on the Legion 1 yard line. Operating deep in their own territory, the Legion were unable to drive out of their own end of the field and punted. McRae then hit a wide open Ireland on a long touchdown throw and followed this up with a conversion to Watkiss as the lead swelled to 20-6. “We don’t normally audible,” McRae commented after the game, “but I, I mean, the coach, gave me the option on that play and when I saw they didn’t have anyone on Kirk, I yelled out our secret code ‘Go, Kirk, Go!’, and it seemed to work.”

Ireland appeared to have an interception on the next Legion possession, but hard-charging Marie Cote had already sacked Arseneau back near the goal line. Cote applied pressure all day to Legion QB’s, forcing them into bad throws on several occasions. “I’m going to be seeing her in my nightmares,” said Arseneau, “Please don’t make me go back out there!”

The final Legion possessions ended in a flurry of Arseneau, Nicolescu, and Aubin incompletions while the Stout tacked on another score on a bomb from McRae to Muir to make the final 26-6. The Irish Stout ran their record to 3-0 while the Legion fell to 0-3. “We get them next time,” Christensen was quoted, “I cut these losers and sign more players for next week!”

BOX SCORE
October 16, 2008
Irish Stout 26, French Foreign Legion 6

Passing
-------
McRae       4 TD, 2 PAT, 1 INT
Arseneau    1 TD

Receiving
---------
Watkiss    2 TD, 1 PAT
Muir       1 TD, 1 PAT
Ireland    1 TD
Burman     1 TD

Defense
--------
Aubin      1 INT

Kanata, ON — On a balmy fall day at legendary Entrust Cryptography Field, the powerful defending league champion Irish Stout defeated a spunky French Foreign Legion squad 26-0. The Stout fielded veterans Paul McRae, Bevan Watkiss, and Kirk Ireland. However, big tight end Dan Murdock was unavailable, having been involved in an incident with Adam “Pacman” Jones at a local dance bar. Rookie end James Muir was a scratch with an ankle injury, about which he would only say, “I can’t tell you how it happened, but I am pretty sure the activity is illegal in the state of Alabama.” Instead, the Stout fielded rookies Chris Walker and Marie Cote as well as a wily veteran from the OFL’s distant past, Paul Bertels. The Legion squad returned most of their usual roster, Peter Arseneau, Bogdan Nicolescu, Sasha Ruzhynsky, Rami Al-Tayeche, and John O’Connor. They were augmented with rookie wingback Jesusa Tran.

The Stout won the toss and deferred, as is their custom. The Legion failed to score and punted. After a couple of incompletions, McRae found Cote in the endzone for the game’s first score after she slipped behind the bedazzled Tran. Watkiss caught the conversion and the Stout led, 7-0. Once again, the Stout defence held firm as McRae and Cote alternated in providing constant pressure on Legion passers and snuffing out running plays.

McRae went to work again and lofted a pass into the waiting arms of Ireland to extend the lead to 13-0. Conversions proved tough all day, though McRae noted, “I can throw it, but I can’t catch it for ’em.” As always, McRae is noted for his “team first” attitude. He continued, “You can’t spell ‘TEAM’ without ‘ME’.”

On the sidelines, Stout Team President and General Manager McRae was continually fending off trade deals with hard bargaining Legion GM Larisa Christensen, who was heard uttering, “It is simple, you give us Ireland, the league’s leading scorer, and we will ship you this gently used pad of Post-It’s. Is fair, no?”

In the second half, Watkiss hauled in a short pass on a crossing pattern and lumbered into the endzone to make the score 19-0. The Stout’s clever play calling and quick hitting offense seemed to have the Legion in disarray, but they rose up to intercept the conversion attempt as John O’Connor picked off the McRae throw. “‘Twas just like back in Croke Park, gents!”, O’Connor remarked, “Now let’s kick their arses!”

It was not to be as the Legion was having trouble moving the ball into scoring range. Their woes continued as Ireland intercepted Arseneau and ran it back to bulge the lead to 25-0. Quickly lining up for the conversion, the Stout added the single point to their total as Cote scored on a sweep right to make the score 26-0. On their final possession, behind their scrambling QB, the Legion moved close to the Stout goal line. On fourth down, however, their hopes were dashed as Arseneau’s pass to Ruzhynsky was batted away at the last second by Walker on the goal line.

BOX SCORE
October 9, 2008
Irish Stout 26, French Foreign Legion 0

Passing
-------
McRae       3 TD, 1 PAT, 1 INT
Arseneau    1 INT

Receiving
---------
Watkiss    1 TD, 1 PAT
Cote       1 TD
Ireland    1 TD

Rushing
---------
Cote       1 PAT

Defense
--------
O'Connor     1 INT
Ireland      1 INT (TD ret)

Kanata, ON — Another OFL season is upon us as the day dawned over a crisp Entrust Cryptography Field. The play did not live up to the surroundings, however, as the Irish Stout prevailed over the French Foreign Legion in a sloppily played game.

Both teams returned several veteran stars while adding some exciting new talent via the draft. The Legion lined up wily QB/slotback Peter Arseneau, the always volatile QB/wideout Louis Aubin, flanker Bogdan Nicolescu, split end Rami Al-Tayeche, and two rookies, tight end Sasha Ruzhynsky from the Red Army and wingback John O’Connor, out of Davy Byrnes Pub in Dublin. The Stout countered with veteran QB and former OFL MVP Paul McRae, speedy slotback Kirk Ireland, and a trio of tight ends, Bevan Watkiss, Dan Murdock and rookie James Muir, from Soft Hands University.

After winning the toss, the Stout deferred and the Legion took the field on offense. Aubin launched a few of his customary rockets into the geese milling about in the parking lot and the Legion punted. On their first possession, McRae uncharacteristically threw a few passes in the dirt, perhaps the result of his legendary hard-partying ways. On third down, however, McRae showed his game and hit Muir on a long touchdown and followed that with a quick strike to Ireland for the conversion. The Stout led 7-0.

The Legion, as is their custom, switched signal callers and put Arseneau in the pivot spot. He managed to drive his team down the field with quick passes to Nicolescu and O’Connor, but the drive stalled as nose tackle McRae nearly made an interception on a pass in the flat.

McRae continued to miss on both short and long passes and the Stout punted a few times until McRae hit Muir on another bomb down to the goal line, following an acrobatic Muir interception. Ireland scored on the reverse, but the conversion failed. The Stout led 13-0.

Cursing in several languages was heard as the Legion lined up and determinedly drove down the field on short passes, the drive hitting paydirt as Arseneau connected with Aubin on the goal line for a disputed touchdown. The conversion pass sailed high, however, and the Stout lead was trimmed to 13-6.

The Stout defense lived up to its name and shut out the Legion the rest of the way. On their final possession, McRae heaved another long touchdown to Muir and then wafted a short pass to Murdock for the conversion to increase the bulge to 20-6 as the horn sounded.

“The defense bailed us out today,” said head coach McRae, “This is going to cost me at the pub later!”. Stout General Manager and Club President McRae were thrilled with the win. “It was a great victory for our organization. I knew if we stuck with me, I mean, McRae as head coach we would be OK. We are continuing to ignore Lane Kiffin’s calls.”

BOX SCORE
October 2, 2008
Irish Stout 20, French Foreign Legion 6

Passing
-------
McRae       2 TD, 2 PAT
Arseneau    1 TD, 1 INT

Receiving
---------
Ireland     1 PAT
Murdock     1 PAT
Muir        2 TD
Aubin       1 TD

Rushing
---------
Ireland     1 TD

Defense
--------
Muir        1 INT

Kanata, ON — On a beautiful day for football, the OFL kicked off its preseason with an exhibition matchup between the Irish Stout and their bitter rivals, the French Foreign Legion. Initially, a titanic contest was to be decided on historic Entrust Cryptography Field, but key injuries to flashy wideout/QB Louis Aubin (something he swears was caught from a toilet seat) and Stout QB nonpareil Paul McRae (Achilles tendon strain) made this a much less appealing clash. Nonetheless, the retooled Legion began with a squad including shifty QB Peter Arseneau, flanker Rami Al-Tayeche, and massive rookie tight end Sasha Ruzhynsky, seeing his first OFL action. In fact he was seeing his first football action of any kind.

After failing to score on their first possession, the Legion turned the ball over to the Stout. A resolute but gimpy McRae wasted no time in hitting Bevan Watkiss for the touchdown and connecting with returning hero Kirk Ireland for the conversion. The Stout led, 7-0.

Undaunted (or perhaps just a bit daunted), the Legion drove down and scored on an Arseneau-Al-Tayeche connection featuring at least 2 hyphens. The conversion failed, however, and the score remained 7-6.

The Stout then went on a scoring binge, with Ireland returning an interception for a touchdown, McRae passing to big tight end Dan Murdock for a score (Watkiss convert), and another long TD pass to Ireland (Murdock convert) to take a 27-6 lead. Most of the Stout agreed that a drinking binge would have been equally as satisfying (and far less taxing).

With McRae sitting out on defense due to his injury, big Dan Murdock stepped into the role of lineman and recorded a sack and tipped pass while frustrating Legion QB’s all day long. But for his lack of a gap toothed grin, it could have been Michael Strahan out there.

Ireland recorded a second interception, this time on an errant McRae pass as McRae switched sides while Arseneau dealt with an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction. Late in the game, Arseneau returned to pick off a lateral from Ireland to Murdock and dash in for a score. Ruzhynsky scored his first football points on the convert as the gun sounded and the Stout prevailed 27-13.

BOX SCORE
June 13, 2008
Irish Stout 27, French Foreign Legion 13

Passing
-------
McRae       3 TD, 3 PAT, 1 INT
Arseneau    1 TD, 1 INT

Receiving
---------
Ireland     1 TD, 1 PAT
Murdock     1 TD, 1 PAT
Watkiss     1 TD, 1 PAT
Al-Tayeche  1 TD
Ruzhynsky   1 PAT

Defense
--------
Ireland     2 INT (1 TD)
Arseneau    1 Fumble Recovery (TD)

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