OFL 2007


Kanata, ON — The much anticipated matchup of the full strength French Foreign Legion against the undefeated Irish Stout failed to live up to expectations as the titans clashed on a chilly day at historic Entrust Cryptography Field. The Legion had finally assembled their best lineup of the season, wily Peter Arseneau would quarterback a squad consisting of sure handed Hongrui Dong, blazing Louis Aubin, athletic Rami Al-Tayeche, and John (not the 49′er) Taylor. The team would have been even stronger if slotback Bogdan Nicolescu had not come down with a virus after having intimate relations with a rodent with a biohazard sticker on it. The league leading Stout lined up with rotund but accurate Paul McRae at QB, big tight end Dan Murdock, rangy Sean Hope, burly Bevan Watkiss, and perfectly coiffed Kirk Ireland, recently returned from the spa.

Nonetheless, even Colts-Patriots could not match the excitement of this one as the teams squared off. The Stout failed to score on their first possession and the Legion attacked right away. Lofting a long pass down the right side of the field, Arseneau had zeroed in on All-OFL receiver Louis Aubin. Aubin dove for the ball, but failed to haul it in. Worse still, he severely injured his knee on the play. Showing the gutsiness that has been his hallmark, Aubin cursed and swore his way back to the huddle to takeover playcalling and QB duties. It would be the Stout, however, that would score first as Kirk Ireland hauled in a McRae TD pass o lead 6-0. Sean Hope would score and convert to push the cushion to 13-0.

Not to be outdone, the Legion scored on a Aubin to Dong completion. Following this, McRae hit Hope again to bulge the lead to 19-6. On their next possession, McRae worked the ball down the field and after lining up at the 5 yard line, Ireland scored on a reverse.

In one of the most courageous moments in OFL history, Aubin hobbled to the line. Like Willis Reed of the 1970 Knicks, Aubin was not to be denied. Blowing by Murdock and hobbling down the field, Aubin pulled in an Arseneau throw to make the final score 25-12. Not a dry eye was to be found, but the valiant Legion could do no more and the Stout were victorious.

November 8, 2007
Stout 25, Legion 12

Receiving
---------
Hope        2 TD, 1 PAT
Ireland     1 TD
Dong        1 TD
Aubin        1 TD

Rushing
-------
Ireland     1 TD

Passing
-------
McRae       3 TD, 1 PAT
Aubin        1 TD, 1 INT
Arseneau   1 TD

Defense
--------
Ireland       1 INT

Kanata, ON — The Irish Stout football club comprised of OFL leading passer Paul McRae, big tight end Dan Murdock, hirsute receiver Bevan Watkiss and shifty Sean Hope bested the French Foreign Legion squad of Peter Arseneau, Bogdan Nicolescu, Rami Al-Tayeche and John (not the 49′er) Taylor. Both teams played without star players, the Stout were missing All-OFL receiver/DB Kirk Ireland, who was getting a bikini wax, and the Legion was without both star QB/receiver Louis Aubin, who was dealing with a mysterious, possibly sexually transmitted, ailment and big receiver Hongrui Dong, who thought that daylight savings time had already ended.

The Legion got off to a fast start, however, as their wily QB Arseneau took off on a fourth down play and recorded the season’s first rushing TD. After failing to convert, the Legion led 6-0. The Stout responded with a long McRae to Hope touchdown, but also failed to convert. Big Dan Murdock put the Stout ahead for good with a touchdown reception and Hope recorded the conversion on a pass from McRae. “I had to tiptoe past the goose droppings,” Hope stated, “Does anyone have some Purell?”

Playing a man-zone defense, McRae then intercepted Arseneau as the pass bounced off the shoulder of Taylor. The Stout immediately capitalized with a Bevan Watkiss TD caught off his shoetops. The Stout now led 19-6. In the late going, Murdock scored again and the lumbering tight end injured himself loping into the endzone. So, for the ensuing conversion, Murdock took the snap and threw a pretty spiral to McRae, who beat Al-Tayeche to the corner. “To bad I can’t both throw ‘em AND catch ‘em,” McRae quipped, “Clearly, I also have the best hands on the team.” “He caught it alright,” Murdock responded, “but we had to time his 40 with a calendar.”

November 1, 2007
Stout 26, Legion 6

Receiving
---------
Hope        1 TD, 1 PAT
Watkiss     1 TD
Murdock     2 TD
McRae       1 PAT

Rushing
-------
Arseneau    1 TD

Passing
-------
McRae       4 TD, 1 PAT
Murdock     1 PAT
Arseneau    1 INT

Defense
--------
McRae       1 INT

Kanata, ON — On a crisp autumn day at legendary Entrust Cryptography Field, the Irish Stout topped the French Foreign Legion 30-12 in a sloppy game that featured 5 turnovers. Both teams were missing key players as Louis Aubin sat this one out to rest his sore pelvis and Kirk Ireland was unable to change his manicure appointment time.

After winning the toss, the Legion decided to defer. On the first play from scrimmage, Stout QB Paul McRae hit lanky flanker Sean Hope on a slant and he evaded tacklers to go all the way for the score. The Stout quickly led 6-0, but McRae missed the conversion pass. His inconsistency would haunt the Stout all day.

The Legion, now led by wily veteran QB Peter Arseneau, moved right down the field (featuring a pass to John Taylor [not the one that played for the Forty Niners]) and scored on a pass to diminutive yet speedy slotback Bogdan Nicolescu. “That will show you American football playing bastards,” he screamed in celebration. However, the Legion also failed on the conversion attempt. In fact, neither team would successfully convert a touchdown all day. “Maybe my massive 155lb bench press this morning is affecting my accuracy,” opined McRae, “I shouldn’t lift on game days.”

Following a Bevan Watkiss interception, the Stout again scored as Watkiss outran his pursuer to a pass in the corner. On the Stout’s next possession, a Dan Murdock reception brought the Stout to midfield, setting up another Watkiss score to give the Stout an 18-6 lead. However, the Legion gamely scored on a Hongrui Dong touchdown to close the gap to 18-12 on a drive that featured Rami Al-Tayeche actually catching a pass. It may have looked like an accident, but it went in the books as a reception after bouncing off Al-Tayeche’s chest and shoulder before settling into his waiting arms.

More turnovers plagued the Legion as Watkiss and Hope intercepted Arseneau. The Stout capitalized on these turnovers as Hope scored twice to bulge the Stout lead to 30-12. On the Stout’s final possession, McRae threw an interception to Dong down on the goal line, but the Legion could do nothing on their final possession and it was snuffed out by a third Watkiss interception. “Clearly, I’m having some enemy identification problems,” said Arseneau, “I mean, it’s not like they are all wearing orange jerseys or anything!”

The Irish Stout ran their record to 3-0 while the French Foreign Legion fell to 0-3. Early MVP candidates include Stout QB Paul McRae, who leads the league by a wide margin with 16 touchdown passes and Stout wide receiver Bevan Watkiss, who continues his early season dominance by leading the league in scoring with 8 TD’s and interceptions with 6.

October 24, 2007
Stout 30, Legion 12

Receiving
---------
Hope        3 TD
Watkiss      2 TD
Nicolescu    1 TD
Dong        1 TD

Passing
-------
McRae       5 TD, 1 INT
Arseneau    2 TD, 4 INT


Defense
--------
Watkiss      3 INT
Hope         1 INT

Kanata, ON — The Irish Stout football club once again has the look of a champion as they methodically dismantled the French Foreign Legion 27-12 on a crisp day at packed Entrust Cryptography Field.

The game started out with the Legion driving the length of the field on precise passing from their quarterback, Louis Aubin. Aubin connected with Hongrui Dong on a long pass and then threw a touchdown to Bogdan Nicolescu to put the Legion ahead 6-0. “Dey don’t run de patterns, eh? But I hit dem anyways wit the ball, tabernacle!” quipped the excited pivot. His conversion pass unfortunately failed and the lead remained at 6.

The Stout started off misfiring on passes from Paul McRae to lanky Sean Hope and returning slotback Kirk Ireland, who had finally returned from a month long visit at the spa. On third down from his own 20, however, McRae showed his game and lofted a long strike to Bevan Watkiss who trotted into the endzone to tie the score. Big tight end Dan Murdock put the Stout ahead with the conversion.

Undaunted, the Legion once again drove for a touchdown as Nicolescu pulled in a short pass from the 1 yard line for the score. Aubin once again demonstrated his accurate passing skills connecting with John Taylor and Hongrui Dong on the drive and narrowly missing a connection with Rami Al-Tayeche. “De ball, she be good to me today,” he was heard muttering in the huddle. The Legion went ahead for the second time today, 12-7.

This score put the Irish Stout in foul humor and they responded with a touchdown drive of their own, culminating as Watkiss stole a pass intended for Murdock in the back of the endzone. “You just want to pad your stats,” Murdock said. “Nyeh, nyeh to you,” retorted Watkiss in an intellectual exchange typical of this high functioning team. McRae’s conversion pass was caught just out of bounds by Murdock and the lead remained 13-12.

Finally the Stout defense lived up to its name, shutting out the Legion the rest of the way. The defensive heroics included Hope sacking Dong in the endzone on a flea flicker play and Ireland intercepting Aubin on a deep pass. “Didn’t we have safeties? Doesn’t anyone remember safeties?” asked a puzzled McRae after the endzone sack. And with that, the safety was re-instituted for future games.

Ireland put on an offensive show in the second half, scoring twice and recording two conversions to pad the final score to 27-12. The final score was on a quick screen play and the final conversion came from Murdock on a trick play literally drawn up in the dirt. “Great, now I need to wash my hands,” said McRae, who also acts as the Stout offensive coordinator.

Complete 2007 statistics can be found here.

October 17, 2007
Stout 27, Legion 12

Receiving
---------
Nicolescu    2 TD
Watkiss      2 TD
Ireland      2 TD, 2 PAT
Murdock      1 PAT

Passing
-------
McRae        4 TD, 3 PAT
Aubin        2 TD, 1 INT


Defense
--------
Ireland      1 INT

Kanata, ON — Football fans were treated with a thrilling game in week 2 of the OFL season as the Irish Stout narrowly bested the French Foreign Legion 19-13 in the OFL’s first ever overtime game.

The Stout, playing with John Taylor (not the former San Francisco wide receiver), in place of plague-ridden Sean Hope and still without Offensive and Defensive Player of the Year Kirk Ireland, who was out with a sprained back incurred by hauling large bags of money to the bank, sputtered on offense and allowed their first points of the year on defense.

The Legion squad featured returning cannon-armed QB Louis Aubin and substituted injured defensive end Rami Al-Tayeche as needed.

The game started slowly, but on their second possession, speedy slotback Bogdan Nicolescu scored on a Peter Arseneau TD pass. He then hauled in the PAT to give the Legion a 7-0 lead. The Stout responded with a long hook-and-go TD from Paul McRae to Bevan Watkiss, who trotted into the endzone behind Legion defender Hongrui Dong. A McRae to Murdock PAT tied the contest at 7-7. Not to be denied this day, the Legion scored to take the lead in the late going, with Aubin hitting Peter Arseneau for the go ahead TD. The PAT failed, however, and the Legion led 13-7. The Stout bore down on defense and Watkiss recorded two interceptions, his third and fourth of the season, to stop Legion drives.

Uncharacteristically, the Stout failed to move the ball and on the penultimate possession of the game and the Legion drove the ball into Stout territory. Arseneau gathered in an Aubin pass and started for the endzone and the winning points, only to be stopped at the 1 yard line. Then, like King Arthur pulling Excalibur out of the Rock, McRae connected with Watkiss on the longest touchdown pass in OFL history, a 99-yard bomb that tied the game and left the crowd speechless. This may have been because the crowd was actually attending an Entrust BBQ, but nonetheless an exciting moment. Peter Arseneau, seemingly everywhere on defense, broke up the conversion pass to Murdock. Thus the stage was set for the first overtime game in OFL history.

After making up the rules on sidelines, the teams returned to the field. Under the newly minted rules (about 30 seconds old at this point), each team gets possession of the ball at midfield and 2 plays to score. If they score, they are allowed to try the conversion. Each team gets an equal number of possessions until one team gets ahead. The Legion lined up for the first possession and completed a short pass into Stout territory. On the next play, the Aubin pass to Arseneau was intercepted by Dan Murdock, snuffing out the drive. A hushed silence fell over the crowd, either in anticipation of the excitement to come or because they had run out of hot dogs. After McRae bounced a short pass to Murdock into the turf, the veteran QB calmly lined up and lofted a strike to Watkiss in the left corner of the endzone which Watkiss caught and held on to despite the best efforts of Arseneau to dislodge the ball. A jubilant Stout celebrated while defiant Legionnaire Bogdan Nicolescu made a Namath-like guarantee of victory next week.

September 20, 2007
Stout 19, Legion 13

Receiving
---------
Nicolescu    1 TD, 1 PAT
Arseneau     1 TD
Watkiss      3 TD
Murdock      1 PAT

Passing
-------
McRae        3 TD, 1 PAT
Aubin        1 TD, 2 INT
Arseneau     1 TD, 1 PAT
Dong         1 INT
 
Defense
--------
Watkiss      2 INT
Murdock      1 INT

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